Cat: I will adorably head-bump the things around me in an effort to get you to pet me.
Me: *shrug* I'm busy. No pets for you.
Cat: And you'd better pet me, or some of these things will be breakable, or filled with liquid.
Me: Meh, I've got stuff to do-- NO NOT MY COFFEE!!! *narrow save*
Cat: All the while, I will pretend I don't know what I'm doing, because how could I? I'm a kitty. *evil internal laugh* *meows*
Me: *Looks warily at the cat* Oh, fine. *pets cat*
Cat: *purrs* Victory is mine.
