TAKE IT BACK

I was thinking today... I think that some disabilities would be better to recover from than others. Walking after being wheelchair-bound, great! Getting a voice after being mute, awesome! But hearing after being deaf, or seeing after being blind... There are some things I'd just rather not see or hear or be exposed to in general in life. I think I'd save the receipt just in case.

AKA, when the machines have taken over

If cars were sentient:

-All sports cars would be arrogant, competitive showoffs. Maseratis, Ferraris, and Corvettes would be the biggest douchebags. Mustangs would be the guys that dress up like the richer guys to fit in, but secretly have a job solely to support their wardrobe because their family isn't that rich.

-Minivans would be extremely maternal, regularly overriding their owners' teenage sons' commands, because "that's just not safe." They would also have surveillance software installed in the cargo and backseat areas with a direct satellite hookup to the owners' homes.

-Small cars would be the troublemakers, always trying to prove themselves against the bigger cars, and probably pranksters.

-SUVs would be programmed with the personality of The Situation from Jersey Shore, and totally convinced that Global Warming is a conspiracy against them.

-Cargo vans would be rather dumb, plodding creatures, doing whatever their owner tells them, though occasionally the mulish part of their programming would kick in and the driver would suddenly find himself dumped out of the drivers' seat and watching his van drive away.

-The Prius would be an insufferable know-it-all, constantly telling his friends to go green. Then, at the end of the day, it would go home and secretly throw plastic wrappers on the ground.

-Trucks would have a constant, inexplicable urge to wallow in the mud and listen to country.

Anybody got any others?